On Rug Burn and R2-D2
Dear Mr. OR,
I have noticed lately that the Beast has acquired a new form of movement. I find that the more my wife puts the Beast down the more the Beast learns in the way of navigating around our dry environment. Up until recently the Beast could only manage rolling in one direction. This of course severely limited its movements. And so the Beast has developed a new manner of movement. It has begun to pull its obscenely large belly across the floor with a serious of uncoordinated arm and leg movements. It is anybody’s guess how the Beast does not receive a healthy dosage of rug burn from this activity.
I have also learned a Beast code word. This has of course made me extremely happy as it means that I am getting closer to learning the Beasts language and there by become able to learn the Beasts plans. The Beast appears to be using a serious of letters to designate things. Not unlike the star wars characters C-3PO and R2-D2. The Beast has designated my wife MA-MA. It has taken me a while to figure this out as the Beast would often try to throw me off the trail by referring to other objects as MA-MA but whenever I would come near the Beast it would quickly look for my wife, mutter MA-MA, and my wife would come running to the Beasts rescue. As I learn more of the Beasts language I will continue to fill you in. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
I have noticed lately that the Beast has acquired a new form of movement. I find that the more my wife puts the Beast down the more the Beast learns in the way of navigating around our dry environment. Up until recently the Beast could only manage rolling in one direction. This of course severely limited its movements. And so the Beast has developed a new manner of movement. It has begun to pull its obscenely large belly across the floor with a serious of uncoordinated arm and leg movements. It is anybody’s guess how the Beast does not receive a healthy dosage of rug burn from this activity.
I have also learned a Beast code word. This has of course made me extremely happy as it means that I am getting closer to learning the Beasts language and there by become able to learn the Beasts plans. The Beast appears to be using a serious of letters to designate things. Not unlike the star wars characters C-3PO and R2-D2. The Beast has designated my wife MA-MA. It has taken me a while to figure this out as the Beast would often try to throw me off the trail by referring to other objects as MA-MA but whenever I would come near the Beast it would quickly look for my wife, mutter MA-MA, and my wife would come running to the Beasts rescue. As I learn more of the Beasts language I will continue to fill you in. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
posted by Julia Reffner | Tuesday, November 08, 2005
11 Comments:
"Road contruction?"
Anyway I would be careful about those new movements. It is only a matter of time before the Beast learns to walk. Then there will be no stopping it.
My guess is the next it will be calling you "Da-Da"
Lumpy -
This new development frightens me more than any of your previous correspondance. You seem delighted in the fact that you have learned to decode the Beast's language - it appears more to me that the Beast is learning ours!
Also, much like C3PO and R2-D2, the Beast seems to know what it wants, and will roll across barren landscapes to get to it. I would begin keeping valuable and treasured possessions far from the grasp of the Beast.
~ quint
By your description, it seems the Beast is well fed.
Maybe Ma-Ma is code for More-More, meaning the Beast wants more food, so it can get an even fatter belly. If it increases its intake capacity, it may be able to eat you whole before long.
The “ma-ma” sound may soon be followed by a “da-da” sound.
Many misinterpret this as Beast code for Daddy. It is actually an auditory indication of the Beast developing an affinity for the works of a Spanish artist.
This predilection will become more apparent as the Beast ages, and will be manifested in “artwork” which will strongly resemble that of Salvador Dali.
Sure beast getting your toe bit.
DA DA
How has The Beast managed to procure such a large mid section? I thought you were trying to control The Beast by means of limiting food intake? If you want to maintain control in that household, you have to become more stealthy. Limit food intake, and limit knowledge acquisition. If that thing learns any more of your language, things will quickly go down hill, as every one who visits will ignore you even MORE. And you certainly don't need anyone or anything competing with you in these area's.
My guess is that when the Beast begins to refer to you as Da Da, you will surrender to it unconditionally. And then what will become of this investigative blog?
I'm glad you are learning to decipher the beasts audible noises! :P
:) Well this is better news then to hear the Beast has bitten off another toe!
~Cyradis
Toad - I shall have to be carefull of the movements indeed. As there is no way that I have found yet for me to stop the Beasts development I will have to instead fortify my house. If I do it right the Beast will gain nothing from its new found mobility.
Quint - The Beast is indeed a very persistent little creature. I will have to begin raising the height of my book shelves immediatly inorder to keep the Beasts grubby little paws away from my books. At this point I do not believe that the Beast has the inate intellectual ability to learn our language in all of it's glorious complexity. But I'll keep the warning in mind.
Jamie Dawn - More-More is a possability I had not thought of. I have gone out of my way to make sure that the Beasts gruel is as unpalitable as possible but the Beast seams to have acquired a taste for it. Whats more its appatite is voracious despite its regular bouts into cannibalism.
Marti - Aaaahhh. I was not aware that Beasts had the abstract reasoning necessary to appreciate human art work. I must say I may finally have found something in the Beast that I approve of. Dali is an excellent artist. I am especially fond of his rendition of the Crucifixion as it is one of the few if not the only places where a hypercube is displayed in a piece of artwork. The Mathmatic qualities of Dalis artwork is amazing.
hoots_musings - It does indeed beat losing another toe.
Susie - Although I have been feeding the Beast an impalitable greul the taste doesn't appear to curb the Beasts appatite. Add to that the calories from its cannibalism and the eating of any and all grass that it can find and before long you have a fairly chuby Beast.
Monique - The Lumpy will NEVER surrender!! Why if I surrender than I shall become a slave in my own household. And so I shall stand as the noble forefathers of our country once stood against the tyrany of the British and, like our forefathers, I will prevail! I must. Too many good men have already fallen.
Courtney - I am too. Although I am a little pensive of what I may learn once I am able to understand the Beast as easily as I understand others around me.
Cyradis - It most certainly is. After all. Each time I lose a toe I am not able to count as high as I was prior to losing my toe. Toe lose can be a very bad thing for the economy.
The Lumpy
Just wait until The Beast says DA-DA. Get your camera ready...
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