On Biological Warfare take two
Dear Mr. OR,
I am happy to inform you that both my darling bride and I have come out of the Beasts latest attack unscathed. As we are both feeling considerably better I have had some time to think about what may have happened and I think I now know how the Beast managed to pull off this astounding attack.
My darling bride and I regularly attend a not-so-local-church service. At our church are several other couples who have been invaded by little Beasts of their own. Every Sunday prior to the service beginning we stand out in the hall and draw straws to see which two adults will have to play jailor to the Beasts and make sure that they don’t try and kill us all by setting the building on fire or something equally horrible. Although I was not chosen this night the Lumpy has been chosen in the past and I can tell you that it is a horrible job. It is nearly impossible to watch all of the Beasts at the same time and the noise... Why I nearly lost my sanity on the night which I was chosen.
What I think happened is that the Beasts waited until they were only being watched by their jailors and then they set up a diversion. While the jailors were distracted one of the other Beasts helped our Beast infect itself with the awful disease. Why would it do that? Why not just infect us? Good questions. I have not, although I have tried, been able to find any syringes anywhere in our house or the church. This means that the disease and the disease immunization must be taken orally. The Beast must have realized that there is no way it was going to be able to make me take a virus filled pill. Not even with my wife’s help. Given that homeland security would most likely look very unfavorably upon the Beast firing a missile or using some kind of detonating device; the Beast was not left with many options. The Beast does not appear to be naturally immune to the virus as it seamed quite under the weather for a few days; although, the Beasts rapid recovery makes me believe that it was hiding an immunization pill someplace on its person and was able to take it after observing my wife and myself succumbing to the virus.
I am happy to announce, again, that my darling bride and I have survived. My wife is no longer showing any ill effects and I am left only with a cough which I have reason to believe is getting better. I shall continue my inquirery into how this could happen and report my findings. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
I am happy to inform you that both my darling bride and I have come out of the Beasts latest attack unscathed. As we are both feeling considerably better I have had some time to think about what may have happened and I think I now know how the Beast managed to pull off this astounding attack.
My darling bride and I regularly attend a not-so-local-church service. At our church are several other couples who have been invaded by little Beasts of their own. Every Sunday prior to the service beginning we stand out in the hall and draw straws to see which two adults will have to play jailor to the Beasts and make sure that they don’t try and kill us all by setting the building on fire or something equally horrible. Although I was not chosen this night the Lumpy has been chosen in the past and I can tell you that it is a horrible job. It is nearly impossible to watch all of the Beasts at the same time and the noise... Why I nearly lost my sanity on the night which I was chosen.
What I think happened is that the Beasts waited until they were only being watched by their jailors and then they set up a diversion. While the jailors were distracted one of the other Beasts helped our Beast infect itself with the awful disease. Why would it do that? Why not just infect us? Good questions. I have not, although I have tried, been able to find any syringes anywhere in our house or the church. This means that the disease and the disease immunization must be taken orally. The Beast must have realized that there is no way it was going to be able to make me take a virus filled pill. Not even with my wife’s help. Given that homeland security would most likely look very unfavorably upon the Beast firing a missile or using some kind of detonating device; the Beast was not left with many options. The Beast does not appear to be naturally immune to the virus as it seamed quite under the weather for a few days; although, the Beasts rapid recovery makes me believe that it was hiding an immunization pill someplace on its person and was able to take it after observing my wife and myself succumbing to the virus.
I am happy to announce, again, that my darling bride and I have survived. My wife is no longer showing any ill effects and I am left only with a cough which I have reason to believe is getting better. I shall continue my inquirery into how this could happen and report my findings. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
posted by Julia Reffner | Tuesday, October 18, 2005
8 Comments:
Thank you all for bearing with me as I worked my way through being ill. I will be doing my best to keep the posts comming again now that my household is feeling better.
The Lumpy
Lumpy -
The effects of the Beast are far-reaching, like a spiders web, it has strings and strands that may not entirely be visible to the human eye. How the Beasts can see these strings is beyond me, as it seems that many of them have trouble moving their own head, as evidenced by their herky-jerky neck movements.
You experience sounds like that of many other households that have Beasts. Somehow or another, the Beast brings about either biological or chemical warfare. You have found a solution to the chemical - that is the plastic covering. The solution to the biological warfare may be more difficult for you to reach, in that it will promote growth and health of the Beast as well.
Studies have shown that there are actual human beings, who, when Beasts come to visit them, give them some sort of innoculation that prevents the Beast from bringing about nastier forms of biological warfare. However, these innoculations encourage the Beast's growth.
The growth of the Beast should be a concern! If the thing grows, your pocketbook may no longer be as powerful as before.
~ quint
You are fortunate that she did not give you The Pukes. Perhaps that is in Chapter II.
Hey, I like your solution..."The answer to the riddles" LOL
Very good!
As far as the ability of the Beasts to carry on biological warfare despite their limited size and mobility...it is indeed one of the mysteries of the universe. An entirely new battle plan occurs when they begin gathering them in a clustered environment known as a "school", which I believe is actually a training camp for mini-terrorists. Once they begin attending the "classes" (indoctrination) they infect one another and carry home the hideous plagues with even greater frequency.
Yet again, they recover at a remarkably fast rate, while the keepers are bedeviled with symptoms for days, sometimes weeks.
I am so glad you and your wife are feeling better. I was quite worried that maybe the Beast had succeeded in wiping you out before you could wipe it out. Whew!
Take care and get over that cough.
(I always kind of enjoyed it when my little Beasts were sick. They would just lay around drugged and wanting to be held. How selfish of me!)
Oh my dear friend...pick up your sword and armor this is war....this is only the begining...there will be many many many more of these "attacks" on your family such as these...
...good luck Lumpy!
~Cyradis
Glad you are feeling better! Be warned that the Beast has much biological weaponry at its disposal. It is a stealth job, and some of the mutations are nasty indeed!
Quint - Indeed I am uncertain how they see the strings as well since my Beast also exhibits those Herky Jerky head movements. Indeed innoculating sounds like a decent idea and we have done a little bit of that but just as you have said the Beast is growing very rapidly now. I had not until you mentioned it put these two things together.
Old Hoss - I am indeed fortunate in that regard. There are very few things the Lumpy hates more than regurgitating his food after he has consumed it.
Marti - Hmmm. Mystery, Schools for Beasts, Healthy Adults getting sick. Sounds like a conspiracy. I think this requires some looking into.
Jamie Dawn - We are happy too. This was by far the Beasts most Devilish plan yet but by the grace of God my wife and I came out on top again.
(Ours did the same thing. And if your selfish I'm just as selfish as you cause I loved the cuddliness.)
Cyradis - I'm running a bit low on swords and armour as of late. Do you think a hasmat suit, oven mitt, and shiskabob stick might suffice?
Monique - Oh dear me. I was so hopeing this would be a one time deal but I suppose that given the success of its first biological attack it is no suprise it would want to use more. I shall be vigilante.
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