On Cats and Becoming Wary
Dear Mr. OR,
During my usual observations of the Beast this week I have learned some new and interesting facts. First and foremost the Beast has a hostile and aggressive attitude. Yes as an infiltrator in my household I knew that the Beast was hostile towards me already but I did not realize the level of hostility it has to all manner of life around it. As you know it is cannibalistic, and at several occasions I have seen it try to feast upon either myself or my wife. Lately; however, it has even begun to show aggression towards the Lumpy’s cats.
Perhaps I have never mentioned it before but the Lumpy has two lovely and very amiable cats. They are very loving with the Lumpy and his darling bride but do not; however, get along with each other. And so on any given day the Lumpy can find some entertainment watching the cats growling and chasing each other throughout the Lumpy's residence. The Beast has gone out of its way to learn the sounds that the cats make and has begun growling repeatedly at the cats as well as the Lumpy and his wife to show how much the Beast dislikes us. Indeed it seams that the Beast dislikes everyone it meets as it seams to growl at and attempts to eat everyone who comes in contact with it.
I have also noticed that the Beast is becoming increasingly wary of me. Every time I attempt to take the Beast off of my wife’s hands for a second or two the Beast immediately begins yelling and then increases its mind control powers upon my wife until she takes the Beast back. This has resulted in little time alone with the Beast with which to continue my studies. Indeed I have had several attempts foiled recently in this manner. And so I will be biding my time over here in my favorite chair reading a book until further developments. I remain always;
Respectfully Yours,
The Lumpy
During my usual observations of the Beast this week I have learned some new and interesting facts. First and foremost the Beast has a hostile and aggressive attitude. Yes as an infiltrator in my household I knew that the Beast was hostile towards me already but I did not realize the level of hostility it has to all manner of life around it. As you know it is cannibalistic, and at several occasions I have seen it try to feast upon either myself or my wife. Lately; however, it has even begun to show aggression towards the Lumpy’s cats.
Perhaps I have never mentioned it before but the Lumpy has two lovely and very amiable cats. They are very loving with the Lumpy and his darling bride but do not; however, get along with each other. And so on any given day the Lumpy can find some entertainment watching the cats growling and chasing each other throughout the Lumpy's residence. The Beast has gone out of its way to learn the sounds that the cats make and has begun growling repeatedly at the cats as well as the Lumpy and his wife to show how much the Beast dislikes us. Indeed it seams that the Beast dislikes everyone it meets as it seams to growl at and attempts to eat everyone who comes in contact with it.
I have also noticed that the Beast is becoming increasingly wary of me. Every time I attempt to take the Beast off of my wife’s hands for a second or two the Beast immediately begins yelling and then increases its mind control powers upon my wife until she takes the Beast back. This has resulted in little time alone with the Beast with which to continue my studies. Indeed I have had several attempts foiled recently in this manner. And so I will be biding my time over here in my favorite chair reading a book until further developments. I remain always;
Respectfully Yours,
The Lumpy
posted by Julia Reffner | Tuesday, October 25, 2005
10 Comments:
Cats give me the heebie jeebies.
enjoy your time alone Lumpy...it is few and far between...have a great week :)
~Cyradis
Just wait until the Beast begins to delight in pulling the tails of the cats, and their fur. Beasts and cats do not mix well together. I know your objective is to study the Beast, but as it grows you will have to provide training to the Beast on how to properly interact with the other creatures in your household.
PS: My new blog location is officially up and running!! I've made quite a few changes since you stumbled onto it last week.
What Monique said. I remember a beastly incident with a cat's tail and the claws that came afterwards. I was only 2, but I remember it very, very well.
Well, of course, Cats do rule the universe.
Well, if a cat goes missing, you'll know who the culprit is. The Beast's belly will look like those pythons in Florida that have been in the news of late.
I was thinking, at this time of year, if you have a Costco near, You might find such interesting items as "experiment kits" and "spyware kits" which were intended for the youth, but I find myself longing for these items, in order that I might conduct a covert operation in which I discover some secrets of the world. You may need one of these kits, as the Beast becomes more wary of you, and will soon be onto your antics and efforts to study it.
If you catch it doing naughty things to the cats, and take pictures, perhaps you can convince your bride that the Beast is indeed attempting to take over your puny little planet.
ok, but is she hissing?
If the beast has not begun to hiss...your safe.
but if she gets into the meow mix..u have troubles:-)
Jacks Shack - Welcome to the Oddyssey. I'm glad you could join us. Cats can be very creapy and mine are no exception. Although if you don't take off in fright they'll run over to you a minute later and purr and beg to pet.
Cyradis - Few and far between indeed. My time alone has been divided by ten ever since the Beast came. It has made finishing any book a much larger challenge than it once was.
Monique - The Beast has attempted to pull the cats hair once or twice but my wife was quick to seperate them before either participant felt much discomfort. I am hoping to be rid of the Beast prior to having to train it but should it come to that I may need to discuss proper training methods with you. The Accidental Thinker is a very nice site. I love the new look and feel. I'll add you to my listed blogs next time I'm editing my template as long as that is ok with you.
Saurkraut - Very well understood. Although we have had our cats declawed (for a whole host of reasons) they still retain the back claws and are very good at using them.
dddragon - Indeed mine sure seam to think that they do.
Jamie Dawn - LOL The image that that comment brings to mind... Although the Beast does appear to attempt eating everything that happens to wander accross its path it has not as of yet tried to injest one of the cats. The Beast does; however, get very excited whenever it sees a cat. Perhaps it is thinking of Kitty under glass or maybe Cat Caserole.
Susie - video and optical evidence may indeed be helpful in persuading my wife. The idea had not occured to me. Unfortunatly I do not have a costco near me but I shall have to peruse the merchandise of some of our local vendors and see what I can find.
Its_just_me - I am happy to say that there has as of yet been absolutly no hissing although there has been considerable bubble blowing. I shall have to hide the meow mix.
The Lumpy
Sure, I'd be honored to be on your blog list. Thanks!
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