On the State of Modern Workmanship
Dear OR,
Have you noticed that they just don’t make things like they used to? Or perhaps it is simply that we have lost our focus. As you may recall I have a new job that requires me to spend many hours staring at the walls of a tiny box which I crammed into every morning. I had to get this job in order to increase my household income in order to purchase devices of torture for The Beast so that when I had a chance I would be able to question the monstrosity. Well I finally had my chance.
Over the weekend my lovely wife asked me to keep the invader at the house for a while so that she could pick up some groceries. I am certain that this was my wife fighting against The Beasts mind control to leave me a coded message: "Let the Torture Begin!” So being a loving husband I readily agreed and went about gathering all our new gadgets and gizmos, previously assembled by myself, into our main living space.
I grinned as my wife walked out the door and quickly snatched the beast from a corner and went about latching it down in a small chair with buckles and hooks and blankets with zippers. I can only assume that the blankets are some kind of heat torture as it is currently 94 degrees here. I regretfully must inform you that The Beasts Will is strong and even when thoroughly restrained and placed in the baking blanket it looked at me and smiled as if to say "Do your worst." So I tried. I looked all over the chair but couldn’t find the button to begin a shock treatment. Nor could I find anyway to tighten the restraints enough to use this as a crushing device. I checked the temperature with a thermometer and you can imagine my surprise when it turned out to be slightly cooler than the air outside. In desperation, I'm ashamed to admit, I read the directions but they were no help as they were all about correctly securing the chair and the victim and didn't get into the torture techniques. Perhaps the manufacturer ran out of paper.
Several other devices turned out much the same way. I did not get a chance to try them all as my wife came home first and removed The Beast from clutches. Apparently it was only a momentary lapse in mind control. However, I'm beginning to believe that the other devices will suffer the same debilitating defects. It seams that folks have lost the stomach for real instruments of torture and so now they only manufacture worthless devices that give the appearance of torture occurring without actually inflicting the necessary pain and suffering.
I shall have to rely on other means. I know another man in a similar situation to mine. Perhaps if we get the two together we can ease drop and learn what their plans are. I will of course keep you abreast of any developments. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
Have you noticed that they just don’t make things like they used to? Or perhaps it is simply that we have lost our focus. As you may recall I have a new job that requires me to spend many hours staring at the walls of a tiny box which I crammed into every morning. I had to get this job in order to increase my household income in order to purchase devices of torture for The Beast so that when I had a chance I would be able to question the monstrosity. Well I finally had my chance.
Over the weekend my lovely wife asked me to keep the invader at the house for a while so that she could pick up some groceries. I am certain that this was my wife fighting against The Beasts mind control to leave me a coded message: "Let the Torture Begin!” So being a loving husband I readily agreed and went about gathering all our new gadgets and gizmos, previously assembled by myself, into our main living space.
I grinned as my wife walked out the door and quickly snatched the beast from a corner and went about latching it down in a small chair with buckles and hooks and blankets with zippers. I can only assume that the blankets are some kind of heat torture as it is currently 94 degrees here. I regretfully must inform you that The Beasts Will is strong and even when thoroughly restrained and placed in the baking blanket it looked at me and smiled as if to say "Do your worst." So I tried. I looked all over the chair but couldn’t find the button to begin a shock treatment. Nor could I find anyway to tighten the restraints enough to use this as a crushing device. I checked the temperature with a thermometer and you can imagine my surprise when it turned out to be slightly cooler than the air outside. In desperation, I'm ashamed to admit, I read the directions but they were no help as they were all about correctly securing the chair and the victim and didn't get into the torture techniques. Perhaps the manufacturer ran out of paper.
Several other devices turned out much the same way. I did not get a chance to try them all as my wife came home first and removed The Beast from clutches. Apparently it was only a momentary lapse in mind control. However, I'm beginning to believe that the other devices will suffer the same debilitating defects. It seams that folks have lost the stomach for real instruments of torture and so now they only manufacture worthless devices that give the appearance of torture occurring without actually inflicting the necessary pain and suffering.
I shall have to rely on other means. I know another man in a similar situation to mine. Perhaps if we get the two together we can ease drop and learn what their plans are. I will of course keep you abreast of any developments. I remain always;
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
posted by Julia Reffner | Monday, August 08, 2005
2 Comments:
On first reading this title I could have sworn it read "On the State of Modern Womanship" HA! Also an appropriate title. ;-)
I recommend livestock grade shock wire, but you SOOOO didn't hear that from ME!
The hours spend with The Beast increase its mind control powers.Try to work as much overtime as you can, the mind control device in your box does not hold the power of the Beast unleashed at home. There is no help for your wife, she has already succumbed to the beast's power. The beast was trapped inside her for too long, but you can yet run before its too late...but perhaps you've passed the point of no return. Run, lumpy.
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