It Begins
Dear OR,
I'm afraid that I must dispense with the plesentries that a communication such as this would usually warrant. You see I am writing to you because I believe I am in great danger. As you are aware, some time ago I was married to a wonderful, attractive, and highly intelligent women who up until recently has been a great joy to me. I suppose all good things must; however, eventually come to an end as I will relate.
You see very recently my wife has come under the influence of a small yet very deviouse being who sole purpose is the destruction of my happiness. I dare say this tiny form is out to dominate and supplant me in my own home. But I am determined not to go down without a fight. How could my wife be persuaded to cooperate with this tiny demon? It is difficult to explaine in writing and must be experienced. In deed I nearly gave in without a fight myself for this creature is possessed of a divine beauty and formidable emotional weapons and there in lies its strength and its weekness.
My wife being a more emotional being was overtaken immediatly while I being somewhat less emotional have been able to catch glimpses of the true nature of my tiny foe. Oh it is a terrorfying creature. I have spent many a night awake contemplating just how develish a creation it is. It's sole purpose is to be served by those older and wiser than it. Like a queen on its throne it expects all people around it to submit to its every demand. And if you don't move fast enough it is quick to unleash one of it's awesome emotional weapons.
I fear how long I will last and I send you these letters that you may be warned less you allow one of these little demons into your own home and also that should something happen too me someone will know who has caused it. I remain always:
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
I'm afraid that I must dispense with the plesentries that a communication such as this would usually warrant. You see I am writing to you because I believe I am in great danger. As you are aware, some time ago I was married to a wonderful, attractive, and highly intelligent women who up until recently has been a great joy to me. I suppose all good things must; however, eventually come to an end as I will relate.
You see very recently my wife has come under the influence of a small yet very deviouse being who sole purpose is the destruction of my happiness. I dare say this tiny form is out to dominate and supplant me in my own home. But I am determined not to go down without a fight. How could my wife be persuaded to cooperate with this tiny demon? It is difficult to explaine in writing and must be experienced. In deed I nearly gave in without a fight myself for this creature is possessed of a divine beauty and formidable emotional weapons and there in lies its strength and its weekness.
My wife being a more emotional being was overtaken immediatly while I being somewhat less emotional have been able to catch glimpses of the true nature of my tiny foe. Oh it is a terrorfying creature. I have spent many a night awake contemplating just how develish a creation it is. It's sole purpose is to be served by those older and wiser than it. Like a queen on its throne it expects all people around it to submit to its every demand. And if you don't move fast enough it is quick to unleash one of it's awesome emotional weapons.
I fear how long I will last and I send you these letters that you may be warned less you allow one of these little demons into your own home and also that should something happen too me someone will know who has caused it. I remain always:
Respectfully yours,
The Lumpy
posted by Julia Reffner | Friday, July 22, 2005
2 Comments:
"Out there is...an Eating Machine that is a miracle of evolution..."
I know your pain, Mr. Lumpy. I have not been a victim of this demon yet, but I have witnessed many a man fall prey....
Eating machine indeed sir. I must admit that I was initially shocked by the beasts voratious appetites. Perhaps it was this initial shock that helped me see it for the monstrosity that it truly was.
hmmmmmm. The bathroom you say. mmmm... hmmmm... yes. yes indeed. The bathroom could make for a fine fortress. It is well insulated. it has water for a prolonged stay. And its entrance is easily fortafied. I shall experiment with this Idea and let you know how it turns out.
Respectfully,
The Lumpy
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